Hey yall,
I don't know what's wrong with me as of late, but I honestly feel like I am trapped in an emotional time warp and about to explode from frustration, sadness, irritability, and lack of....ya know...intimacy. To be honest, though, the not getting any, at all, from anyone, nor wanting to or having the desire to pleasure myself...I can actually deal with. To be honest, it's how I realized I was actually focusing on myself more. If ANYBODY who know me, or has known me knows I am a very sexual, intimate, passionate, person.
I don't know what's wrong with me as of late, but I honestly feel like I am trapped in an emotional time warp and about to explode from frustration, sadness, irritability, and lack of....ya know...intimacy. To be honest, though, the not getting any, at all, from anyone, nor wanting to or having the desire to pleasure myself...I can actually deal with. To be honest, it's how I realized I was actually focusing on myself more. If ANYBODY who know me, or has known me knows I am a very sexual, intimate, passionate, person.
Lately, not so much.
Cool. I'm not toooo worried about that!
Everything else though! Aaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhhhh! (Dramatics sighs)
I'm about to lose what little bit of marbles I have left. I'm trying so hard to let things come to pass without really interfering with my cards. But I also cannot help that I am a perfectionist, I have O.C.D REALLY bad; I am a realist, and a perpetual planner. I overthink, over compensate, and over achieve. It's sad, really! But I've been like this all of my life. I do not like sitting om y ass. I do not like feeling helpless. I do not like depending on things to fall in place, as they may. I like results that I can physically touch, or have a hand in changing.
Is that weird? Am I looking at things to much? How do i manage to keep everything together without going bat shit crazy?