You ever have that one person, thing, comfort zone, idea, memory...? That security that gave you all the comfort in the world?
My comfort, my joy, my world, my everything, was my maternal grandmother, Betty Joyce. Or my BJ. WE were so close, that close isn't close. That woman would brighten up the darkest of times!!! I was her Baby Bop, and she was my BJ! (If you know, you know....telling my age here).
When I remember my bestfriend, I remember the smell of fresh lemon and mint tea, peppermints, and potpourri. I remember turkey wings and rice, those crumbly, cubed square erasers during homework time, eating multiple Big Sticks (the cherry, pineapple and orange popsicles that were .50 off the ice cream truck). She was the sweetest little librarian, stern and serious about the value of an education, especially for little girls (I'll explain later), presenting yourself as a strong but sweet soul, very spirtitual (raised by a Lutheran, I was)...she was a soul you CRAVED to be around. I've only ever seen her IRATE....never. Slow to anger; quick to protect.
I'm smiling, just remembering her spirit. It feels warm and peaceful around me. My BJ.
In the short time I grew to know, love, and adore her, I found her to be the definition of a firecracker, that one. Betty Joyce was all of 5 ft 4 inches, with a crackle like no other. She was a quick wit, always matching thought to thought. She was NOT going to argue with you. Her word was law. No, it was never executed harshly. This woman could reprimand (a soft scolding at best) you with a voice that covered you like the finest silk. (I am so serious). You'd learn from her, about how to garden, how to keep something clean, how to cook, how to care for, or how to save something.
I miss her so much. I lost that soul, 22 years ago, this October 4th. I was 8 years old. And I was so lost. That woman was my everything.
How do you really heal from letting someone like that?