I woke up today....
Not really sure what else to say but that.
I'm not angry or upset that I woke up. Im not sad about it either. I just woke up.
Some days are really hard. Some days are really confusing. Some days i WANT to be left alone. Other days I want someone there.
I feel some type of way because I don't have a comforting thing or person. I don't have that shoulder to cry on or that outlet to scream and throw things at.
Some days I wish I could pick up the phone and call her (my mother) and the sad reality is that I can't because she is no longer here in the physical sense.
I have aa few friends, and I do have my parents (My dad and Stepmom) but everybody has their own feelings towards my momma, and it's really uncomfortable to talk to them about it.
There are days where I push through, because I have to. What choice do I have, really? I can't give up . I have two sets of eyes looking at me, two mouths to feed, and two souls to nurture, on top of my own.
Sometimes I can't comfort myself. Sometimes I don't have the time to. And when I do, it's a whole task in itself, or there is just not enough time to cater to me.
I feel so lost sometimes. And I just wish there was someone for me, as I am for everyone else.