It's taken me a long time, a lot of thought, and an abundance of courage to be able to write this, letter to you. I have spent much time, many sleepless nights, and repeated silent conversations with myself to finally find the voice I needed to tell you...
Thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes. Thank you for not appreciating me. Thank you for not believing in me. Thank you for being selfish. Thank you for being stubborn. Thank you for continuously lying. Thank you for showing me your true colors. Thank you for allowing me to see the true value in what used to be a wonderful situation. Thank you for treating me as if I added no value to you your world; as though I didn't matter. Thank you for all of the disappointments. Thank you for all the trails and tribulations. Thank you for having me question my self worth, my value, and my love. Thank you so very much for leaving me to feel alone in a relationship built on deceit, and dishonesty. Thank you, for pretending to be my everything. Thank you for introducing me to a different type of reality. One where new relationships are built, bonds are formed, and other relationships were created.
I'm not going to lie, it wasn't all negative, and I am not saying it was all your fault, no. I give credit, where credit is due. My silence and ability to defend myself were major reasons why it lasted as long as it did. My resilience to make it work, because I was blinded by what my heart wanted, also a key factor. My negligence to the truth, that was sitting in front of me the entire time, also factors into this. However, in the time that I knew you, or thought I knew you, I learned to trust my own intuition. I learned that I do have a voice, and that it cannot be silenced, and that it does mean something, to someone. I learned that joy cannot be taken, from which that did not create it. I learned to believe what presents itself first, and to watch for red flags, or warning signs. I learned, with your help, that I wasn't invisible. I acknowledge that I am useful, beautiful, intelligent, and not a burden, nag, or problem. I learned that I am more than enough. I learned the true definition of loyalty. I learned how to be more spontaneous. I learned the definition of family; simply saying blood does not tie you together. I learned how to open my heart to another's situation. I've learned from you. I've learned what NOT to do. I am stronger for what I have been through. I have some wonderful memories. I have learned a lot.
Thank you for not appreciating my worth. Thank you for doubting the strength I had to carry us both through the bad times. Thank you for holding my flaws against me, because when we first started, I DID state that I was prefect. (complete sarcasm).
Last, but certainly not least, I want to truly thank you for releasing me from a toxic situation. Thank you for breathing new fire into my heart, more faith into my soul, and an abundance of peace. I do not, nor will I ever, hate you. Because of you, I have found HER. That her, is ME! And she, deserves everything!
Thank you,
Cali