I honestly cannot understand, why it is so hard to find a love that understands me for me. My love language.
Am I that hard to love?
AM I that hard to understand?
AM I that hard to get through to?
I don't require much. And I refuse to ask for anything, that I myself have not earned, or did not work for.
Some say, that that is prideful; and other's may say that that may block my blessings. I see it as keeping me safe. It keeps me from owing someone something. All I can give is love. A love so rich, and so pure that it completes another, who is missing just that.
Love is HARD. Love is misleading. Love is never ending. Love is sacrificial. Love is blind. Love is scary. Love is worth taking risks, and taking chances.
But why does MY love always seem to get me nowhere, or take me in circles, or wind up getting me hurt? Why do I have to prove myself, even when I require the bare minimum?
It's not about what you have, what you wear, what you do, where you go, or what you can do for me.
All I want to do is give someone the same love i look for in return. Pure, un-adultered, passionate love.
The kind of love that isn't hindered with fear. The kind of love that isn't blinded by insecurities or jealousy. The kind of love that isn't intimidated by my status, or my drive.
Kiss me deeply. Touch my soul with your soul.
Make love to me because you can, when you can, while you can, because you can. Not just because its required.
Talk to me, because you trust me to listen to and understand your hurts, hangups and hardships.
Wake me up in the middle of the night becasue you had nightmares and are afraid of whatever.
Call me randomly just to say you want to hear my voice, or that you miss me.
Give me a new reason why you chose to love me, outside of what i already know I am good for or capable of.
Remind me who I am committed to, for this lifetime and the next. Show me just how important I am to you. Or why I am even in your life in the first place.
Keep me assured that I'm the best decision you made, and I'm the only one for you. I'm more than just a trophy, or some prize you may have lucked up on. I am the BEST. I am the only one.
To me, you are what you see yourself as. I see you for what you see in yourself. I See me for what I see in myself. And lets just be honest, it took me a while to understand.
I've searched my whole life for love that isn't just unconditional and feels right. I want my love to mean something. Because it ACTUALLY does mean something. It stands for commitment, togetherness, inclusion, family. Not just a financial stronghold and comfortability until you can get to where you're going, next.
Love is more than just two souls searching for the other half to become complete. It's a partnership. A business. An empire. It requires skill, patience, and much much work. One picks up where the other is lacking. One does all the legwork while the other does the footwork (or focuses on the intricate details).
Love is way more than just an emotional and mental affair. It is mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and verbal commitment to one another. Finding a balance between the five is not for the faint of heart, nor is is for the unbelieving. professing something as valuable and your heart, mind, bosy and spirit is not something to just give away lightly.